We Parents Need To Do Better!
We ask ourselves these days why many children are rude, especially to authorities at school.
Many children seem to lack orderliness, especially for elders like their teachers.
Many factors are responsible for this, but amongst them is a fault that could be easily traced back to the home.
Yes! With our parents.
Many parents' attitudes, consciously or unconsciously, are the main reason young children lack respect and orderliness, especially at school.
Many parents, particularly mothers, unconsciously make their kids lose regard for their teachers and school authorities.
Many women do this when they engage in random discussions with their kids, especially about their school and academic affairs.
When reacting to discussions with their kids, many parents are fond of criticising the management of their kids' schools disrespectfully.
Such disrespectful comments often entail direct insults to the teachers, abuses, and sometimes curses.
This attitude sends a message to the observing and sensitive kids.
A typical example is a parent telling the child, "Your aunty is not serious". This could be a response from a parent to the child—a message from the teacher of school fees reminder to the parent.
Some mothers are known to use remarks like;
"Your uncle doesn't know anything",
"Your aunty is too lazy",
"Don't mind your useless principal",
"Don't answer that, your useless teacher",
"Your teacher doesn't know anything",
"Your principal doesn't know more than money",
"That your uncle is a thief for asking for payment now".
The pathetic list of derogatory comments goes on and on.
So, because such kids instinctively trust their parents' opinions, they get used to seeing & hearing their parents disrespect their teachers and school authorities.
Over time, the kids consciously or unconsciously grow disrespectful & rebellious towards their teachers, school authorities, and community elders.
The rebellious attitude thrives in the kids to the point that they replicate it back home to their parents.
Such parents wonder why their once soft-looking and gentle kids have now grown unruly & rebellious. They fail to understand that they are the genesis of the problem through their pathetic example.
It is noteworthy to mention that parenting is a challenging responsibility. A responsibility that requires you as a parent to be at your best in character & obligation at all times.
To this effect, we as parents must be mindful of our actions & conduct, especially in the presence of these children. They watch our every step and move.
And because they've been created to trust our actions, they quickly adopt many of our conducts, including the bad ones.
Even if you notice a problem with how your child is being treated by the school, you must verify the matter before reaching a conclusion.
Don't just naively rely on your kids' reports to react.
Don't rush to conclusions on the account of your child's report alone, to the shameful point of insulting the child's teachers and school at large.
The more honourable thing for you to do as a parent is to respectfully engage the teacher(s) or school management at most.
Make your enquiries & investigations.
Give assurances to your child of getting a solution while ensuring your child's fault is addressed where need be.
Your child reporting being punished to you in school shouldn't warrant you insulting or cursing the teacher. That's part of where the parental problem is.
Conclusively, we should remember that grooming children to be responsible adults is a communal effort.
All aspects of the society are expected to play their parts. Parents must also learn to trust teachers & school authorities in their kids' management.
Where and when you notice the shortcomings of the school's management or the teachers (who are also humans like you), respectfully address it with them - at least with a phone call.
Don't rush to rain curses and abuses on the teachers to defend your kids.
Instead, ensure your kids are telling you the truth. Then, be mindful of your reaction & conclusion to your child's claim.
It's a way of teaching your child emotional maturity and moral consciousness through speech and conduct.
We pray that God continues to increase us all in guidance, especially as present and would-be parents.
-Yūsuf Sanusi
